Monday, September 17, 2012

Rainy Days and Mondays...

It's pouring outside.  It's Monday.  I had a terrible night trying to digest last night's high fat dinner of short ribs.  This morning, I've spent some quality time at the toilet as my body kicks everything out...  To top it all off, I dry heaved after trying to brush my teeth.  Yep, I'd have to say today has not gotten off to the best start.  So I think this classic Carpenters song is the perfect theme for this morning...




I have actually always loved this song, even though it's what a good friend of mine would call "Brently".  Never heard the term "Brently"?  Allow me to explain.  When we were in college, this friend and I were pretty much inseparable.  We lived in the same dormitory freshman year but on different floors, because he was a guy and I was a gal and the dorm had communal bathrooms.

Anyway, there was a weird guy who lived on my friend's floor, name of Brent.  Brent looked like a cross between Ronald McDonald and Jesus Christ.  He used to ride around campus on a bike with no shirt on.  He was emaciated, so it wasn't the prettiest sight.  Normally, I wouldn't make fun of a person due to their looks, but Brent had an equally unpleasant personality.

He was not popular with others on our hall because he was a tattletale-- He busted his hallmates for underage drinking during their freshman seminar class.  He was very arrogant-- he actually told women that he could have any "white girl" he wanted.  Brent happened to be involved in an interracial relationship, which is not a big deal, but he seemed to have a problem with it, hence his unfortunate and untrue comment about his ability to date women of his own race... or any woman, for that matter.

Brent was also an asshole.  One time, he sent my good friend a letter that was supposedly from our college's Honor Board.  My friend knew the letter was fake because it was very poorly written.  He decided to get back at Brent by "busting" him for his sword collection, which was a big no no on campus.  My friend, who was a fellow English major, sent Brent a very professional letter that actually looked like it came from a disciplinary board at our school.  Brent freaked out and started running up and down the hall in a panic.

My friend felt bad for Brent, so he came clean about what he'd done.  Instead of being relieved that he was the victim of a prank and wasn't about to be kicked out of school, Brent grabbed my friend by the lapels, backed him up at the wall, sneered "Oh... so you think it's funny, huh?", and then promptly kneed my poor buddy right in the nuts.  As he crumpled up on the floor, my friend croaked, "No Brent... I just feel SICK."

So anyway, Brent had a bad habit of looking at the dark side of things.  He was a bit of a self-pitier and would go around moaning and groaning.  And I guess he had good reason to moan and groan, because he also claimed to have amoebic dysentery.  One day, on the way to the dining hall, Brent said, "Shit!"  When other people from the hall asked him what was wrong, he said he'd just shit himself.  Apparently his condition did not lend itself to bowel control.

My friend noticed how self-pitying and whiney Brent tended to be, so he took to using Brent's name to describe someone who was being a victim, whining too much, or succumbing to self-pity.  Twenty years later, I still use that word sometimes when something or someone seems to be feeling too sorry for themselves.  And "Rainy Days and Mondays", while it is one of my favorite Carpenters songs, is a tad on the whiney side.

Nevertheless, it seems to fit today's mood, since not only is it a rainy Monday morning, but my bowels are acting a bit like ol' Brent's.  I guess I'll go fix myself a nice gentle breakfast so I don't spend the rest of the day feeling too "Brently".

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