Not long ago, I posted some open duets on SingSnap.com. I got a few takers, including one guy from the States who sang "Unforgettable" with me. I don't often do that song, actually. I'm kind of thinking maybe I shouldn't have done it, now.
Yesterday, I got home after spending the long weekend in a lovely medieval German town. I don't usually check SingSnap on the weekends, even if I'm at home. I don't look at it at all when I'm out of town, mainly because I go on that site to make recordings. I'm not really there to make friends or listen to other people... and while it's nice when people listen to me, I don't necessarily expect them to. I sing there as a form of mental health therapy.
I do occasionally like to do duets, though. Sometimes I run into some good singers and it's fun to collaborate with them. On the other hand, sometimes I also run into people who are tone deaf in more ways than one.
Last night, I got a message from the guy who did "Unforgettable" with me. He was wanting to know if I'd like to sing "Vaya Con Dios" with him. I saw the message, but didn't immediately respond because I was busy with other things. And basically, he'd invited me to check it out, which I figured I was at my leisure to do. Imagine my surprise when I got another message tonight...
First off, I don't like it when people want to assign me songs. It's happened on more than one occasion. I like to choose the songs I sing, and the duets I do. It's one thing if I 'm participating in an activity that I signed up for. It's another when some random person I don't really know wants to assign me a song. In my mind, the original message was an invitation to see if I wanted to do a duet. I figured it was my choice whether or not to take him up on the invitation, especially since we don't know each other at all.
Secondly, I only just saw the first message last night. I've been out of town. I get that this dude doesn't know my schedule... but maybe that's the whole point? He doesn't know me, and apparently didn't take the time to read my profile, where I explicitly state that I don't check the site on weekends. That's my time with Bill.
I also don't get notifications for anything other than comments on recordings because every notification generates an email and they can become excessive. If I wanted to, I could set up my account to be notified by email for everything-- when someone likes my recording, when someone likes a comment I left, when someone makes a comment, for private messages, for responses to comments on the messageboard, etc. It can add up to a lot of distracting emails. It got to be too much, so I drastically cut back on what I wanted to see. It's worked out to be a lot nicer that way.
Consider that when I make duets, a lot of times I do more than one. Sometimes I get several takers, all of whom expect me to listen to the whole song, which I admit I rarely do, and leave nothing but gushing feedback. That can add up to a lot of listening, sometimes to singers who are physically painful to hear. The guy who wrote to me this time wasn't, as I recollect, a bad singer. He wasn't that great, either. I can tell by the comment I left him, although I'm not inclined to listen to a bunch of his stuff now that he's demanded to know why I haven't responded in a timely enough manner.
I'm sure many people would say my attitude about this is shitty and I should be grateful that anyone wants to listen to me, let alone sing with me. Um... but while I do enjoy nice comments as much as anyone does, I sing more for myself than I do for anyone else. Duets are fun, but I'm not seeking approval when I sing. I'm seeking mental health and stress relief. Getting pushy private messages from some guy wondering why I haven't dropped everything to respond to his PM is kind of creepy and rude. It makes me think he's not a very nice person.
Anyway... I can't say I am inclined to join this guy in any more duets. I feel like that would only encourage this kind of behavior. In fact, now I kind of feel like blocking him. But I know some people would fault me for that, too.
Yesterday, I got home after spending the long weekend in a lovely medieval German town. I don't usually check SingSnap on the weekends, even if I'm at home. I don't look at it at all when I'm out of town, mainly because I go on that site to make recordings. I'm not really there to make friends or listen to other people... and while it's nice when people listen to me, I don't necessarily expect them to. I sing there as a form of mental health therapy.
I do occasionally like to do duets, though. Sometimes I run into some good singers and it's fun to collaborate with them. On the other hand, sometimes I also run into people who are tone deaf in more ways than one.
Last night, I got a message from the guy who did "Unforgettable" with me. He was wanting to know if I'd like to sing "Vaya Con Dios" with him. I saw the message, but didn't immediately respond because I was busy with other things. And basically, he'd invited me to check it out, which I figured I was at my leisure to do. Imagine my surprise when I got another message tonight...
I have to admit, this message kind of made my heart sink...
First off, I don't like it when people want to assign me songs. It's happened on more than one occasion. I like to choose the songs I sing, and the duets I do. It's one thing if I 'm participating in an activity that I signed up for. It's another when some random person I don't really know wants to assign me a song. In my mind, the original message was an invitation to see if I wanted to do a duet. I figured it was my choice whether or not to take him up on the invitation, especially since we don't know each other at all.
Secondly, I only just saw the first message last night. I've been out of town. I get that this dude doesn't know my schedule... but maybe that's the whole point? He doesn't know me, and apparently didn't take the time to read my profile, where I explicitly state that I don't check the site on weekends. That's my time with Bill.
I also don't get notifications for anything other than comments on recordings because every notification generates an email and they can become excessive. If I wanted to, I could set up my account to be notified by email for everything-- when someone likes my recording, when someone likes a comment I left, when someone makes a comment, for private messages, for responses to comments on the messageboard, etc. It can add up to a lot of distracting emails. It got to be too much, so I drastically cut back on what I wanted to see. It's worked out to be a lot nicer that way.
Consider that when I make duets, a lot of times I do more than one. Sometimes I get several takers, all of whom expect me to listen to the whole song, which I admit I rarely do, and leave nothing but gushing feedback. That can add up to a lot of listening, sometimes to singers who are physically painful to hear. The guy who wrote to me this time wasn't, as I recollect, a bad singer. He wasn't that great, either. I can tell by the comment I left him, although I'm not inclined to listen to a bunch of his stuff now that he's demanded to know why I haven't responded in a timely enough manner.
I'm sure many people would say my attitude about this is shitty and I should be grateful that anyone wants to listen to me, let alone sing with me. Um... but while I do enjoy nice comments as much as anyone does, I sing more for myself than I do for anyone else. Duets are fun, but I'm not seeking approval when I sing. I'm seeking mental health and stress relief. Getting pushy private messages from some guy wondering why I haven't dropped everything to respond to his PM is kind of creepy and rude. It makes me think he's not a very nice person.
Anyway... I can't say I am inclined to join this guy in any more duets. I feel like that would only encourage this kind of behavior. In fact, now I kind of feel like blocking him. But I know some people would fault me for that, too.
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