More poor duet etiquette...

Not long ago, I posted some open duets on SingSnap.com.  I got a few takers, including one guy from  the States who sang "Unforgettable" with me.  I don't often do that song, actually.  I'm kind of thinking maybe I shouldn't have done it, now.

Yesterday, I got home after spending the long weekend in a lovely medieval German town.  I don't usually check SingSnap on the weekends, even if I'm at home.  I don't look at it at all when I'm out of town, mainly because I go on that site to make recordings.  I'm not really there to make friends or listen to other people... and while it's nice when people listen to me, I don't necessarily expect them to.  I sing there as a form of mental health therapy.

I do occasionally like to do duets, though.  Sometimes I run into some good singers and it's fun to collaborate with them.  On the other hand, sometimes I also run into people who are tone deaf in more ways than one.

Last night, I got a message from the guy who did "Unforgettable" with me.  He was wanting to know if I'd like to sing "Vaya Con Dios" with him.  I saw the message, but didn't immediately respond because I was busy with other things.  And basically, he'd invited me to check it out, which I figured I was at my leisure to do.  Imagine my surprise when I got another message tonight...

I have to admit, this message kind of made my heart sink...

First off, I don't like it when people want to assign me songs.  It's happened on more than one occasion.  I like to choose the songs I sing, and the duets I do.  It's one thing if I 'm participating in an activity that I signed up for.  It's another when some random person I don't really know wants to assign me a song.  In my mind, the original message was an invitation to see if I wanted to do a duet.  I figured it was my choice whether or not to take him up on the invitation, especially since we don't know each other at all.

Secondly, I only just saw the first message last night.  I've been out of town.  I get that this dude doesn't know my schedule... but maybe that's the whole point?  He doesn't know me, and apparently didn't take the time to read my profile, where I explicitly state that I don't check the site on weekends.   That's my time with Bill.

I also don't get notifications for anything other than comments on recordings because every notification generates an email and they can become excessive.  If I wanted to, I could set up my account to be notified by email for everything-- when someone likes my recording, when someone likes a comment I left, when someone makes a comment, for private messages, for responses to comments on the messageboard, etc.  It can add up to a lot of distracting emails.  It got to be too much, so I drastically cut back on what I wanted to see.  It's worked out to be a lot nicer that way.

Consider that when I make duets, a lot of times I do more than one.  Sometimes I get several takers, all of whom expect me to listen to the whole song, which I admit I rarely do, and leave nothing but gushing feedback.  That can add up to a lot of listening, sometimes to singers who are physically painful to hear.  The guy who wrote to me this time wasn't, as I recollect, a bad singer.  He wasn't that great, either.  I can tell by the comment I left him, although I'm not inclined to listen to a bunch of his stuff now that he's demanded to know why I haven't responded in a timely enough manner.

I'm sure many people would say my attitude about this is shitty and I should be grateful that anyone wants to listen to me, let alone sing with me.  Um... but while I do enjoy nice comments as much as anyone does, I sing more for myself than I do for anyone else.  Duets are fun, but I'm not seeking approval when I sing.  I'm seeking mental health and stress relief.  Getting pushy private messages from some guy wondering why I haven't dropped everything to respond to his PM is kind of creepy and rude.  It makes me think he's not a very nice person.

Anyway... I can't say I am inclined to join this guy in any more duets.  I feel like that would only encourage this kind of behavior.  In fact, now I kind of feel like blocking him.  But I know some people would fault me for that, too.

A little trivia I learned about the song, "Baby, It's Cold Outside"

Around this time of year, we trot out our favorite holiday music chestnuts.  One song that seems to have fallen out of favor is Frank Loesser's 1944 "hit", "Baby, It's Cold Outside".  The song is a call and response duet between a man and a woman.

The woman looks at the time and decides it's time to go.  The man tells her she should stay with him, since it's so cold outside.  The woman continues to protest as the man pressures her to stay put.  Originally, this song was between "wolf" (the man) and "mouse" (the woman).  Obviously, there is a big difference in size and strength between a wolf and a mouse.  It sounds predatory and, in fact, in nature it would be predatory.

A lot of people think "Baby, It's Cold Outside" is a song about date rape and a man not respecting a woman's right to say "no".  At the very least, it sounds kind of creepy, at least to people listening in 2017.

Creepy?

I will admit that it's probably not my favorite holiday tune...  but was it really meant to be as creepy as it sounds to those of us living in 2017?  Well... I think it helps to consider the era when the song was written.  In 1944, it wasn't socially acceptable for a woman to stay the night with a man.  People were much more concerned about their reputations in terms of propriety.  Socially speaking, it would have been appropriate for the woman to protest and try not to stay the night.  And the man was being appropriate by being concerned about the woman's health, although we all know what they really wanted to do was shag each other.  Indeed, in the 40s, this song was even considered "empowering" to women.

Loesser wrote "Baby, It's Cold Outside" as a duet for himself and his wife.  Were he alive today, he'd probably be pretty mortified that some people think it's an anthem about date rape.  In 1944, date rape wasn't really a "thing".  Women did get date raped, but it wasn't something that people really talked about much.  However, if an unmarried couple spent the night together, that would be considered scandalous.  So it makes sense that a horny couple would have a conversation like this one.  She wants to stay the night.  He wants her to stay the night.  But in order for that to be "proper", she must make some sort of a protest so that it looks like she stayed out of necessity.

    

Yeah... I don't know that Louis Armstrong was putting roofies in anyone's cocktails...

Just to keep the theme of this blog relevant to crap from the 70s and 80s, here are Dukes of Hazzard stars Tom Wopat and John Schneider with their version...  Love them Duke boys...

This song, despite our modern political correctness and cultural sensitivity, is supposed to be flirtatious, tongue-in-cheek, sexy, and fun.  But as our attitudes about sex have changed, so has the interpretation of this classic song, which has been covered by many, many artists and continues to be recorded today.  While I am not one to encourage sexual abuse or date rape, I do think some people need to take a chill pill about "Baby, It's Cold Outside".  

On the other hand, if it gets people talking about why sexual assault is wrong, maybe that's not a bad thing.  And hey, it's even inspired creativity in others.  A couple even rewrote the lyrics to emphasize the importance of consent.  I am all for things that inspire creativity, even as I recognize that history is also important.  And frankly, I'd rather listen to any incarnation of "Baby, It's Cold Outside" than Paul McCartney's "Wonderful Christmastime".  

A new duet partner...

I don't have much to say today, but thought I would share these two duets done by a guy who found my open recordings...  He gave me goosebumps and needs more exposure!





It's always a pleasure when I get to duet with someone who can sing well!  I hope we'll get to do more together.

Michael Johnson...

Can a performer's name be any more generic than Michael Johnson's?  Maybe...  especially when you consider how much that name sounds like Michael Jackson.  Back in 1978, Michael Johnson had a pop hit with the ballad, "Bluer Than Blue".

I remember this song very well.  I was six years old when it was popular.

I don't remember any other songs Michael Johnson did, though years later I ran across a duet he did with Alison Krauss.

They teamed up on a low key, chilled out version of "Whenever I Call You Friend", a song that was originally made famous by Kenny Loggins and Stevie Nicks...  

I actually like what they did to this song, though I also like the original too.  I'd love to find a guy who could sing it.  I bought the album "Whenever I Call You Friend" was featured on, which also included a great, sexy version of "Almost Like Being In Love".

I can't watch this in Germany, but maybe you can where you are...

Michael Johnson's sensual version of "Almost Like Being In Love" makes me feel like recording new takes on old songs.  I actually had to sing this one when I took voice in college, but the arrangement was very old school.  I think I like Johnson's more adult contemporary take on it...

And here's my version of "Bluer Than Blue"...



I bought the album below and it's a good one...

Fever!

Today turned out to be a prolific music day.  I recorded a bunch of stuff and some guy from SingSnap asked me to join him on a duet for the classic hit "Fever".  I didn't know it had been done by Chuck Brown and Eva Cassidy as a duet, but apparently it was...



The guy actually has a pretty good voice and it's so fucking hot in my office that I was especially inspired.

He later joined me on another song... I could have done my part better, but he was great on his!

Fairytale of New York... done SingDate style...

Apparently, SingSnap.com inspired a new show in the UK called SingDate.  Today, they had an event inviting people to sing with the stars of the show.  I turned on my web cam and went for it.  It was surprisingly fun.  Most of the people were somewhat decent singers or at least entertaining.



This me and some guy singing "Fairytale of New York", which is kind of ironic since I just blogged about Christy Moore (who covered that song by The Pogues) on PopRockNation.

I also did "Ain't No Mountain High Enough"...




And "When You Say Nothing At All"...



I really hate watching myself on camera, so I figure other people won't want to.  But what the hell...

This was really a lot of fun.  Makes me want to go to England, though.