I have written before on this blog about my dealings with clinical depression. Fifteen years ago, I kind of wanted to die. If I'm honest, that is a thought that passed through my mind every night… I thought my life was meaningless and I was a real pain in the ass to a lot of people, in particular, my parents…
What's funny is how my perspective has changed. In 2013, I don't see myself as a pain in my parents' asses. I think they're glad I'm here. I turned out to be okay, anyway. Maybe I'm not the smartest, most beautiful, most talented kid they could have had… but I didn't grow up to do anything particularly embarrassing. Hell, some people think I'm quite smart and talented. My great husband loves me, anyway… and I know my parents adore him.
I ended up with such a wonderful husband… how? I don't know. He's wonderful in so many ways. Fifteen years ago, when I was feeling sad and worthless, I had no idea that this man was going to be in my near distant future. And now, we've been married eleven years. I can't say I don't still have my depressive moments, but they are much fewer and further between than they used to be. And one thing I can say that I gave to my husband is the gift of music, because I promise you that his exposure to music has increased greatly since he's known me.
I want to also say that I was able to share music with the man who helped me get over depression. We are now friends, since I haven't been his client in years. Not long ago, I introduced him to the gorgeous tune "Highland Cathedral"… which I discovered as I was coming out of depression. It's become sort of my personal victorious anthem and means a lot to me. My former therapist happened to read a blog post I wrote about "excellent" Christmas music and was introduced to that marvelous tune by German composers with a love for the Scots. He shared it with a Scottish friend and sent along the man's comments…
And it occurred to me that in some small way, I'd had a positive impact on someone else's life. I had passed along a small gift. The holidays are tough for so many people… and that includes me, even though I am much happier now than I once was. Never underestimate the impact you may have on someone's life. It could be as small as introducing them to a wonderful piece of music or saying something that makes them laugh… or even just saying something nice that they always remember when they feel down. Never forget that even when you feel like the lowest life form on the planet, there is someone out there who will be glad you're around…
Even though, as I write that, I know that when you feel that way, you just don't see that there's a big picture that you're missing… you may not see it for years. But I have been where you are and sometimes I still visit. And you need to remember, that when you are in that place, there's a way out of the basement. When you get out of there, you will find a different perspective. You will find there is something you have to share with others. It could be as small as a song… or as big as a donation to your favorite charity… but it has worth, and so do you…
What's funny is how my perspective has changed. In 2013, I don't see myself as a pain in my parents' asses. I think they're glad I'm here. I turned out to be okay, anyway. Maybe I'm not the smartest, most beautiful, most talented kid they could have had… but I didn't grow up to do anything particularly embarrassing. Hell, some people think I'm quite smart and talented. My great husband loves me, anyway… and I know my parents adore him.
I ended up with such a wonderful husband… how? I don't know. He's wonderful in so many ways. Fifteen years ago, when I was feeling sad and worthless, I had no idea that this man was going to be in my near distant future. And now, we've been married eleven years. I can't say I don't still have my depressive moments, but they are much fewer and further between than they used to be. And one thing I can say that I gave to my husband is the gift of music, because I promise you that his exposure to music has increased greatly since he's known me.
I want to also say that I was able to share music with the man who helped me get over depression. We are now friends, since I haven't been his client in years. Not long ago, I introduced him to the gorgeous tune "Highland Cathedral"… which I discovered as I was coming out of depression. It's become sort of my personal victorious anthem and means a lot to me. My former therapist happened to read a blog post I wrote about "excellent" Christmas music and was introduced to that marvelous tune by German composers with a love for the Scots. He shared it with a Scottish friend and sent along the man's comments…
And it occurred to me that in some small way, I'd had a positive impact on someone else's life. I had passed along a small gift. The holidays are tough for so many people… and that includes me, even though I am much happier now than I once was. Never underestimate the impact you may have on someone's life. It could be as small as introducing them to a wonderful piece of music or saying something that makes them laugh… or even just saying something nice that they always remember when they feel down. Never forget that even when you feel like the lowest life form on the planet, there is someone out there who will be glad you're around…
Even though, as I write that, I know that when you feel that way, you just don't see that there's a big picture that you're missing… you may not see it for years. But I have been where you are and sometimes I still visit. And you need to remember, that when you are in that place, there's a way out of the basement. When you get out of there, you will find a different perspective. You will find there is something you have to share with others. It could be as small as a song… or as big as a donation to your favorite charity… but it has worth, and so do you…
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